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[camarod]

psycho man

bhargrove#1969

---

ABOUT ME

fuck off.

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[camarod]

[good. good. he can relax. ]

So long as my other assets stay toasty, we're good.

[he means his -]

[heatmetal]

[ Another louder, brighter laugh. He wipes at his eyes and flops down against the mattress, scrubbing his face.]

That worried about shrinkage?

[camarod]

Not on your life.

[isn't every man. ] You good, though? Really, I mean.

[heatmetal]

Getting there.

[ he stares at the ceiling. ]

You're right, though. Need a waaaaay better outlet.

[camarod]

I'd ask if you wanna start fights and shit, but I promised someone I'd be on my best behaviour.

[but. BUT IF HE WANTED To. ]

The shit you do now. Start looking in the opposite direction. You spend all this time being nice, Munson. Be mean once in a while.

[heatmetal]

That's why I play D&D. I can be a dick to people, kill 'em off alllll I want when they piss me off, and paper is the only casualty.

[ god. ]

I used to jack cars and take them for joyrides. But that's the kind of trouble I need to stay out of.

[camarod]

I'd say get laid, but, you know.

[steve. ]

[heatmetal]

Fuck.

[ yeah. that. ]

Yeah. That was what the whole stupid fight was over.

[camarod]

Like I said. You're fucking idiots.

[jesus christ.]

[heatmetal]

I know!

[ the throws his hands straight up towards the ceiling. ]

[camarod]

[a beat. ]

He told me a little. It's not that hard to get laid dude. What is the issue man.

[heatmetal]

Ah, shit.

[ whatever. he just cried an ocean on his shoulder. ]

He - shit. I told him I didn't want to fuck you, and he - turned it around and asked if I wanted to fuck him. Said something about how he needed it, got up in my face when I was like - trying to make sure he wasn't just throwing himself on my dick so I wouldn't be tempted. So he - made this whole thing about the weekend, when I was trying to go on a walk with him to calm the hell down from everything before that.

[ it's so stupid. his face is hot with embarrassment. ]

And I felt stuck because I - obviously - want to do sinful things to that man. But, I also have to keep seeing him - and he has no idea about the shit I'm into. Not a clue.

[camarod]

[he lets that sink in. is only a little stung that eddie munson doesn't actually want to fuck him, but he can get over that. then he chokes, then his laughter is out, wild and unrestrained. it is so goddamn stupid. he's not sure he can do this -]

First of all, you two chucklefucks would be lucky to fuck me. [LISTEN. ]

Second, fuck. He's trying to fuck your brains out and has no idea what the hanky means. Munson. Eddie. You're a walking tragedy.

[heatmetal]

I have eyes, Hargrove. Obviously. You're making bank just posting pictures.

[ Eddie covers his face with his hands and laughs hard. ]

Fuck. You know band kids fuck around way more than you jocks, and it's never this complicated.

[camarod]

I knew you wanted me. [he is. a little hoarse from laughing. good fucking grief. ]

Because they just fucking do it. [no now he's thinking of the band kids WHY. ] - Look. If he's not into it, you gonna be okay?

[like. is vanilla sex going to be your second death -]

[heatmetal]

Dunno. If his go-to sex listening Wham! I think I might have to feed myself to the bats.

[ he's kidding, obviously. ]

[camarod]

- They're gone, by the way.

[he's snickering though. pauses. ] You might have to just suck it up and go with the vanilla flow, amigo.

[he's laying back now, one arm over his head. ] Wanna hear something hysterical? He told me to settle down today. Stop fucking around. He's telling me to settle down and I'm out here thinking maybe I should get into videos. Whiplash.

[heatmetal]

At least the future has given us one blessing.

[ which is a fucked up thing to say. but he flips over on his side at that. ]

Couples porn is very popular these days. There's an S&M pair I've been following very closely. So he'll just try setting you up with a partner who can do you right and look good doing it.

[camarod]

Not you too.

[for the love of all that is holy. ] I don't need to settle down. Do I look like the kind of guy that settles down?

[heatmetal]

All of my heroes have grown old, gotten married, and had kids.

[ but ]

If you don't want to then don't.

[camarod]

It sounds like a goddamn nightmare.

[tonight is perhaps not the night for the brand of emotional baggage -]

Anyway, I meant solo videos. The spotlight is all mine, baby.

[heatmetal]

[ he can't disagree. He flips onto his back again. ]

Do those cost more?

[camarod]

Oh, absolutely.

[there is a plan, here, somewhere. make enough money for a nest egg. get all the shit he couldn't get back home. live, just a little. ]

If I'm jacking off I might as well be making the big bucks out of it.

[heatmetal]

Yours is truly the most difficult job a man can do.

[camarod]

Yeah. But someone's gotta do it for the hungry masses.