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[camarod]

psycho man

bhargrove#1969

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fuck off.

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[heatmetal]

No way, man. [ he snaps his fingers. ] We still need to loop Harrington in on the Blondie plan.

[ trapped. eddie glances around for the remote - remembers it's probably in the pile he stuffed in his closet. he hops up and heads over, struggling to get the door open and looking entirely unembarassed when an avalanche of stuff spills out. ]

[camarod]

[so this is how he dies: stuck between these two idiots and suffocating on his own envy. just like he always dreamed -

he huffs a frustrated noise and - and he relents. wants to, deep down. wants to belong in this equation in whatever capacity. he huffs a fine, then makes a show of crawling over Steve, and sitting back against the headboard. arms folded.]

[retromix]

What Blondie plan?

[ Starting to feel like this is the moment Henderson would unveil a stupid series of events ...

He finished ordering pizza and leans on his side on the bed, eyeing them both against the headboard. ]

[heatmetal]

[ Eddie jerks a thumb towards Billy, grinning devilishly. ]

Consider this: a cross country roadtrip to get Hargrove a night with his ultimate MILF.

[camarod]

[To this, Billy levels Steve with a serious look, meeting him dead in the eyes. ]

We’re gonna see Blondie in Seattle, and I’m gonna fuck Debbie Harry.

[retromix]

[ The way his expression goes from exasperation to doubtful politeness so fast. ]

I'm considering that she's super old by now. How are you knuckleheads even going to get backstage to meet her? She has to have an army of bodyguards.

[heatmetal]

I've got my ways. And you look so innocent nobody's ever suspect you of being where you shouldn't.

[camarod]

My friend she has aged like fine wine.

[gilf moments.] You in?

[retromix]

Let me get this straight, you want me to drive in a car for hours across state lines just so you can have the slightest hope that Debbie Harry won't take one look at you and say "sorry, I'm a pop goddess, not today boys"?

[ Billy seems genuinely enthused. ]

How did you even come up with this idea? Have you bought tickets to one of her shows, or ... ?

[heatmetal]

Pretty sure only one man here's gonna be driving.

[ and it ain't gonna be Eddie Munson much to his chagrin. ]

Mapped out a whole ass roadtrip so even if Hargrove gets shot down, we get a hell of a journey out of it. Metallica is doing a concert in Cali and if we time it right we can hit both. And on the way back? We can do Disney.

[retromix]

[ Wow. It's a Real Plan with consolations if Blondie doesn't work out. Steve looks between them, lips twitching. ]

You want to go to Disneyland?

[camarod]

Absolutely not, [but,] we figured you would.

[it’s weird to feel a little nervous, right? weird to feel like they need Steve’s approval? want it?]

We’re doing Universal too.

[heatmetal]

Plus they've got a whole section dedicated to Star Wars and I need a lightsaber like I need air.

[retromix]

Hold on. So your plan is for you to screw Blondie, for you to go to a Metallica concert, and I ...

[ The most uncertain look ever. ]

I get to go to Disneyland.

[ He doesn't know if he's amused or worried for them if that's the only option they landed on. ]

... We can go get you a light sword, sure.

[camarod]

Oh, you’re right. We can blow Disneyland.

[he can steal a glowing sword from a child to make Eddie happy. :) ]

We’re going surfing too.

[heatmetal]

You get to go wherever you wanna, babe. I'll - [ he moves to get the map, pauses as he remembers his phone is smashed ] when I get my phone fixed we can add whatever stops you want on there.

[retromix]

Surfing would be cool.

[ Anything he wants sounds like a broad bribe, one he wants them to know they don't need to have his help. ]

It's fine, I'll go with you. Out of morbid fascination to see him get blown off by Blondie herself, more than anything.

[camarod]

I’m not gonna get blown off.

[so confident. so sure!!!]

You wanna see strippers in Vegas?

[heatmetal]

The man's got confidence in his own abilities.

[ Eddie chokes a little at the boldness of the request, laughing. ]

[retromix]

You guys are so ...

[ Eyes wide as he shakes his head, Steve lays down so he can detangle the large black tshirt and start knotting it at his waist. Much better. And if a slice of skin is on show over his belt, oh well.

He rests his head in his arms and that slice widens. ]

Strippers are expensive.

[camarod]

[he’s looking again, sorry Eddie. how can he not.

but then, a beat, he glances up at Eddie, lifts a brow.] You gonna tell him or should I?

[heatmetal]

[ eddies response is a little delayed, his eyes on that slice of skin. Without the buzz of his overwhelmed feelings all he can feel is how bad he wants to touch.

But he manages to yank his eyes up. ]

B's loaded.

[retromix]

Loaded with money?

[ He gives Billy a raised brow, then jerks his chin. ]

Prove it. How?

[camarod]

[he hums, low and thoughtful. then grabs his phone, loads up his little hustle, leans in to Steve, phone in hand, zooms in on the follower count.]

I do one level right, so you times that number by ten.

[he’s Very Proud of his little gallery of photos and 5 second clips.]

[heatmetal]

The man's got a mind for business.

[ and a body for porn. Maybe not gonna say the quiet part outloud when just yesterday they were fighting about whether he wants to kiss billy. ]