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[camarod]

psycho man

bhargrove#1969

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fuck off.

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[camarod]

- Didn’t get one.

[he’s lying, badly. shifting uncomfortably on the floor. he forces a smirk.] I did think it was the pure sexual magnetism, but I already had that.

[retromix]

... That sucks. When you figure it out, fill us in.

[ Billy is 100% lying but he also looks like he has a bat in his shorts, so in the spirit of being fair and not forcing secrets free, Steve relents. ]

If everyone's feeling safe and sound, I'm going to order pizza.

[heatmetal]

[ definitely a lie, but eddie has read enough superhero comics to know better than to pry. ]

I could go for pizza. [ he gestures towards the guitar. ] Aaaaaand I think I owe you both a concert that doesn't have a total mental breakdown midway through. Since you came running to my rescue.

[camarod]

As much as I would love to third wheel and cockblock you two - [he’s grateful. but he’s also feeling jealous, and if he gets too comfortable he might cross a line. so up he gets - shirt in hand - and his phone he grabs.] But I don’t trust my bike with anyone in this town.

[he knocks an elbow against Eddie, glances at Steve. ] Don’t be stupid. Call me of some other shit comes up.

[retromix]

[ Oh. Oh, shit. ]

But you helped out Eddie and then ran over to get me, right? Aren't you hungry after all of that? Dude, my treat.

[ He's not entirely sure he wants to be alone with Eddie just yet, it was a little humiliating last time even if Steve was unknowingly asking for it by being an oblivious dickhead. Currently he has minus-levels of game: he was hard, almost naked, and got turned down in a literal bed. ]

What's cockblocky about eating? Literally nothing!

[heatmetal]

[ that's a little obvious, steve-o. but eddie doesn't show he's at all affected, sliding away and gesturing to the new space with a flourish of his hands. ]

If you need us to leave room for Jesus...

[camarod]

[lord we must stay focused -]

I’m literally trying to help you do the opposite.

[oh no, he thinks. he’s fond.]

[retromix]

[ Snorting, Steve takes out his phone and slides off the bed, pacing. ]

I'm calling for two extra large pepperonis, either stay and eat hot pizza or you can have the cold leftovers tomorrow. Your choice!

[ Too late, he's calling!! ]

Can we put the TV on? Must be something decent on at this hour ...

[heatmetal]

No way, man. [ he snaps his fingers. ] We still need to loop Harrington in on the Blondie plan.

[ trapped. eddie glances around for the remote - remembers it's probably in the pile he stuffed in his closet. he hops up and heads over, struggling to get the door open and looking entirely unembarassed when an avalanche of stuff spills out. ]

[camarod]

[so this is how he dies: stuck between these two idiots and suffocating on his own envy. just like he always dreamed -

he huffs a frustrated noise and - and he relents. wants to, deep down. wants to belong in this equation in whatever capacity. he huffs a fine, then makes a show of crawling over Steve, and sitting back against the headboard. arms folded.]

[retromix]

What Blondie plan?

[ Starting to feel like this is the moment Henderson would unveil a stupid series of events ...

He finished ordering pizza and leans on his side on the bed, eyeing them both against the headboard. ]

[heatmetal]

[ Eddie jerks a thumb towards Billy, grinning devilishly. ]

Consider this: a cross country roadtrip to get Hargrove a night with his ultimate MILF.

[camarod]

[To this, Billy levels Steve with a serious look, meeting him dead in the eyes. ]

We’re gonna see Blondie in Seattle, and I’m gonna fuck Debbie Harry.

[retromix]

[ The way his expression goes from exasperation to doubtful politeness so fast. ]

I'm considering that she's super old by now. How are you knuckleheads even going to get backstage to meet her? She has to have an army of bodyguards.

[heatmetal]

I've got my ways. And you look so innocent nobody's ever suspect you of being where you shouldn't.

[camarod]

My friend she has aged like fine wine.

[gilf moments.] You in?

[retromix]

Let me get this straight, you want me to drive in a car for hours across state lines just so you can have the slightest hope that Debbie Harry won't take one look at you and say "sorry, I'm a pop goddess, not today boys"?

[ Billy seems genuinely enthused. ]

How did you even come up with this idea? Have you bought tickets to one of her shows, or ... ?

[heatmetal]

Pretty sure only one man here's gonna be driving.

[ and it ain't gonna be Eddie Munson much to his chagrin. ]

Mapped out a whole ass roadtrip so even if Hargrove gets shot down, we get a hell of a journey out of it. Metallica is doing a concert in Cali and if we time it right we can hit both. And on the way back? We can do Disney.

[retromix]

[ Wow. It's a Real Plan with consolations if Blondie doesn't work out. Steve looks between them, lips twitching. ]

You want to go to Disneyland?

[camarod]

Absolutely not, [but,] we figured you would.

[it’s weird to feel a little nervous, right? weird to feel like they need Steve’s approval? want it?]

We’re doing Universal too.

[heatmetal]

Plus they've got a whole section dedicated to Star Wars and I need a lightsaber like I need air.

[retromix]

Hold on. So your plan is for you to screw Blondie, for you to go to a Metallica concert, and I ...

[ The most uncertain look ever. ]

I get to go to Disneyland.

[ He doesn't know if he's amused or worried for them if that's the only option they landed on. ]

... We can go get you a light sword, sure.

[camarod]

Oh, you’re right. We can blow Disneyland.

[he can steal a glowing sword from a child to make Eddie happy. :) ]

We’re going surfing too.

[heatmetal]

You get to go wherever you wanna, babe. I'll - [ he moves to get the map, pauses as he remembers his phone is smashed ] when I get my phone fixed we can add whatever stops you want on there.

[retromix]

Surfing would be cool.

[ Anything he wants sounds like a broad bribe, one he wants them to know they don't need to have his help. ]

It's fine, I'll go with you. Out of morbid fascination to see him get blown off by Blondie herself, more than anything.